Flow State: The River That Remembers Who You Are
There is a place inside you that doesn’t need to be fixed…only remembered.
That little piece of you lives beneath the noise, beneath the planning, beneath the ache. It’s not really measured in metrics or miles, but in moments when time dissolves, when breath syncs with beauty, when your mind finally stops pacing the edges of your life like a tiger in a cage, and steps inside it instead.
This is flow state.
And if you’ve ever lost yourself in painting, dancing, gardening, writing, baking, carving, coding, or walking with no destination…then you’ve been there and you know exactly what I’m talking about.
Flow is the river that carries you back to yourself when you get a little lost between the grocery bills and getting ready for work.
What Is Flow, Really?
Psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi (pronounced cheeks-sent-me-high lol) coined the term flow after researching people who reported being so immersed in a task that they forgot about everything else. I’m talking about artists, athletes, surgeons, musicians, gardeners, makers, or creators.
These were people who weren’t really doing it for praise, or profit…or likes on Facebook. They were doing it because it made them feel alive again inside.
Flow is a brain state of deep focus and absorption where your sense of self diminishes, time warps, and effort becomes fluid. That’s what good old Google says anyway, when I went looking for answers. You stop trying and you finally become.
It’s what musicians call being "in the pocket." What surfers feel as "being one with the wave." It’s what we feel when watercolor dances, words arrive as if from another world, and when the sourdough starter is finally perfect and the world disappears into dough and dust and joy.
There’s nothing I enjoy better than a flow state. Pro tip from someone who is easily distracted: put your phone on silent. Trust me on this one.
In flow, the prefrontal cortex (responsible for self-criticism, overthinking, and inhibition) goes quiet. This process, called transient hypofrontality, creates a sensation of timelessness and ego dissolution. In these moments, your brain doesn’t worry about yesterday or tomorrow.
It simply is.
Dopamine floods your system, fueling motivation, reward, and focus. My absolute favorite of all the drugs in the world (natural are better, that’s a hill I’m willing to die on). Endorphins and anandamide (the bliss molecule) activate, reducing pain and increasing euphoria as well. Norepinephrine sharpens attention and serotonin comes along to stabilize mood.
So yeah, you feel good because your brain is chemically thrilled you’re doing something deeply aligned with your nature. The best part is you don’t have to be an expert, hell, you don’t even need to be good at all. Flow doesn’t need any sort of mastery at all to turn itself on, just presence.
watercolor representation of “flow” state
The Lost Art of Wholly Doing One Thing
We live in a world that calls multitasking a virtue. The thing is, the body and mind wasn’t really built to split itself so many ways. Flow teaches the sacredness of singularity.
When you give yourself entirely to the task in front of you, the world widens. Pouring tea becomes an act of ceremony. Just ask all the people around the world who think so. Tending a plant becomes a poem for some of us out there who love getting dirt under our nails. Writing a single sentence becomes an entire life lived for me on days when my mind becomes too tangled to properly express myself. There’s healing in presence.
Some days, flow doesn’t come no matter how hard you try. Maybe you light the candle and sit at the desk and keep looking out the window, or you open the journal…and nothing comes out at all.
That’s okay.
Flow isn’t a machine to summon; it’s a relationship to nurture. Also, be a little easier on yourself please. You aren’t a machine (unless this is AI scraping my website and learning how to train itself more). On those hard days, lower the bar for yourself.
Instead of painting a whole meadow, make a single mark. Instead of writing a chapter, write one line. Flow is shy with those who grip too tightly. It doesn’t want to be chased aggressively or it spooks. Loosen your hands and just know that whenever you’re ready, it’ll find its way back to you.
Sometimes the act of showing up is all you really need.
Why Flow Belongs in Dopamine Hobbies
Dopamine hobbies are the gentle portals through which we slip into flow.
They’re hobbies that spark joy, curiosity, wonder, and delight without demanding perfection or productivity at all. They exist for their own sake, and because they create just the right balance of challenge and skill, they invite flow with ease.
Painting a mandala or learning a new guitar riff. Kneading sourdough at sunrise and sketching birds on a windowsill.
These are nourishment for your brain and your soul. They build resilience in your daily life. These hobbies give your dopamine system something steady and non-destructive to love.
In a world that often hijacks our attention with artificial highs thanks to all the doom-scrolling we like to take part in, dopamine hobbies offer something slower and more sustaining for us.
If you’re in that frustrated state trying to find flow, then maybe try to choose something tactile. Flow loves sensation. Pick something with a mild challenge that’s not too easy and not too hard. Think like Golilocks here. Set aside time and space and for the love of God, turn off your phone. Breathe.
Let go of outcomes and expectations. I promise you no one was good at something the first day they tried it. I mean, no one. The point isn’t to finish something big, it’s really just about starting.
Notice the transition as it comes, there’s a moment you will feel the shift. Sometimes it feels like a sigh, a blur, or some sort of loosening. That’s flow.
And when you’re done, there’s a radiant kind of quiet.
The Invitation Is Still Open
You don’t need to be fixed because you’re a whole person and people aren’t broken, you just need to be immersed in something.
Trust that the things you love are also the things that love you back.
Flow doesn’t have to be something that only experts or monks or people with studios and time experience. Flow is for the mother painting at midnight in her tiny studio apartment because she can’t sleep, or for the man singing in his car before going in to work his shift. Even the child building castles out of dirt can enter into flow.
It’s for you, so go out there and find it.
